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The Masculine Blanket

from Panic Attack Vol. 3: Datura Burrito by Panic Surfer

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lyrics

As the peak, the pinnacle of masculinity
Lifting weights, eating raw meat
Smoking cigars, drinking whiskey
It’s my job to protect the west from everything deemed girly
And bully and bash and bitch and bellyache
At the woke hordes storming American gates

And by gates I mean my twitter mentions
AHH! Rainbow flags!
Hanging where my drooling children can see them
Christ is king

Driving to the shooting range in my exurban town
I saw a sticker, a trans rights flag
I shit myself and called my dad
My ex-wife’s new boyfriend is a very light shade of brown
So I subscribed to the Daily Wire and binged watched Matt Walsh
While secure in my pillow fort

The transgenders can’t hurt me when I’m under my blanky
AHHH! Drag Queens on TV!
That means it’s time to kick off a genocide…

The LGBTQ agenda is coming for our kids
My Catholic priest told me so, he’s a man of God
So I’ll take it from him

I’ll consume the propaganda
Paid for by the oil oligarchy
And drive a wedge between me and my kids

I’ll bury the memory of that time
At a college party
Where I saw my friend Tom in tight jeans
And had some impure urges

No!
I hate you because I hate me
And that’s why I got uninvited yet again
To another Thanksgiving

I’ll eat alone again

No, I’m no crying, it’s just allergies
AHHH! Androgynous teens!
I want to drain the world of all it’s color
And bleed the grey in me out into the streets
If nobody else does
At least Jesus loves me

I’m a motherfucking man

credits

from Panic Attack Vol. 3: Datura Burrito, released June 4, 2023

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Panic Surfer Dallas, Texas

Panic Surfer is a one man project from Texas, formed during the 2020 lockdown to prevent the sole member from slipping into total madness.

Originally Panic Surfer was a project focused on satirical YouTube and Tik Tok videos, but later expanded into more ambitious territory.

Incorporating elements of death, thrash, groove metal, and horror punk, Panic Surfer promises to punish. ... more

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