Everything is spinning Strip search and interrogation They took my shoelaces There’s a ringing in the back of my head How is this legal? Where’s my phone call and my lawyer? This place smells like bleach and urine And there’s screaming down the hall The windows are barred, all the exits have alarms The doors are solid steel and the mattresses are hard There’s cameras watching me, watching Jimmy spill his seed And a battalion of ‘roided up orderlies There’s a lady in the corner in a straightjacket shaking wildly And some chubby asian dude carving wieners into the drywall What the fuck is going on? Where’s the HHS when you need them? Drooling, mumbling, twitchy, moaning freaks All around This place smells like rot, none of the nurses are hot I’ve got a pounding headache, my stomach’s in a knot Two patients in a fight, throwing punches left and right The nurses just laugh and place their bets into the night There’s no way that I belong in here I’m perfectly sane These creepy motherfuckers wanna milk my insurance While they fiddle with my brain I don’t care who I have to bribe I don’t care what I have to do I’ll fake my death like Ken Kesey I’ll dig my way out with a fucking spoon

They take me away to a room down the hall And strip me butt naked again There’s flashing screens, wires and machines A chair with straps, two orderlies Before I can run they both grab me I feel like Rosemary Kennedy Mouth gagged with leather, tied down to a chair Von Terror says nothing, he just sits and stares There’s beeping and buzzing, an overhead light My mind cracks wide open, my demons come to life Childhood fears that haunted me for years Pop up on the screen, Von Terror sneers Awkward erections, bullies, cold tears The ugly nurses giggle in my ear Embarrassing nights cut by flickering lights Like Clockwork Orange, pried open eyes Flipping through my life, going night by night Just get this over with so I can motherfucking die They observe the Diagnosticator As it prints out exactly what is wrong with me Hypochondriasis, Bipolar II, and a touch of OCD Written up in Comic Sans to add insult to injury To top it all off, it ended with a little poop emoji There was no time to protest The machine had spoken They unhooked me and drug me right back to my cell And behind closed doors, chuckling in his office Von Terror brewed up a pharmaceutical cocktail With clenched fists, a scowl, and a puckered asshole I screamed out the window to let these fuckers know I’ll call up Fox News, NPR and CNN So the Diagnosticator can never be used again

Step right up, you sickos We’ve got the cure for your mind Don’t hesitate, boys and girls Just get yourself in line We’ve got pills that’ll wake you up We’ve got pills that’ll help you unwind Just take a few and watch You’ll see You’ll be better in no time Zyprexa, Lamotrigine, lorazepam, parnate In a little Dixie cup served every day at 8 A laundry list of side effects, can’t read or concentrate Just a drooling empty-headed Panic Surfer With erectile dysfunction They make me tired all the time, but won’t let me sleep I’m starving like a stoner but still don’t wanna eat I spent thirteen hours just staring at my feet We’re just lab rats for some pharmaceutical companies Cause if you want sanity It comes at a cost You’ll gain 30 pounds But at least The voices have stopped Some take pills, some take shots, some have meds hidden in cheese Some take eye drops, some take patches, some take suppositories A line of shuffling zombies lining up to at the same time And I’m one of them, you take your cup, and then I’ll take mine, cheers Cause if you want sanity You’ll have to pay a price It’ll take you two hours to cum But at least you’ve tamed your mind I Have been hypnotized By a handful of pills that keep me in line I watched The orderlies, on the sly Sneak alprazolam right from behind The backs of these weaseling, sniffling and wart-faced Pill pushing nurses, motherfuckers got me Slouched down in the corner With a heartbeat like a jazz drum solo And I couldn’t give a single solitary fuck at all Cause if you want sanity You’ll need to give up your edge The things that make you interesting Will be pulled out of your head You’re nice and numb instead Come back at 8am again And again

Come in little rat Let’s have a little chat Tell me how you feel Like I give a fuck I’ll poke into your mind Let’s see what I can find Mental anguish, trauma, oh grow a fucking spine Von Terror! That’s the motherfucking name Electrotherapy is the motherfucking game Von Terror! Learn it now and learn it well I wanna hear you scream when I get my Nobel Vicodin, Ketamine, a little bit of aspirin Coursing through your veins, directly into your brain Strap in, oh wait, you are already strapped, cause you are mine now I hope that you can last Cause I will have a blast Poking you with needles So much that you collapse I hope you have insurance Cause this sure won’t be cheap You might be losing fluids But your account is what will bleed Von Terror! That’s the motherfucking name Electrotherapy is the motherfucking game Von Terror! Learn it now and learn it well I wanna hear you scream when I get my Nobel

This is genius A brilliant tactical maneuver It’s a truly classic mental patient move And I’m playing all the hits These white coat motherfuckers Are all fucking with my brain All the poison pills they give me Will be flushed right down the drain The blue ones make me dizzy The white ones give me gas Von Terror and his nurses Can all kiss my fucking ass Into the bowl The literature all says not to stop taking them suddenly But what can be worse than the side effects these pills already give me? My chest is heavy, my dick is broken, my nipples are fuckin’ numb So I’ll hide that wretched poisonous shit under my fuckin’ tongue It’s time to detox It’s time to regenerate After being in a drugged stupor for days Panic is back, baby These white coat motherfuckers Can get their guinea pigs somewhere else All their paperwork and prescriptions can go straight to fuckin hell I reject their diagnosis My brains wont be turned to mush The medications that they feed me Will all get the fucking flush And down they will sink Like turds Into the sewers

The battle of the hor d’oeuvres There will be no prisoners left to serve Mashed potato hand grenades and ketchup squibs The food fight of the century is set to begin Dodging tacos and Salisbury steaks Armed with rolls and a plastic tray I’ve got an orderly in my sights He goes down in a flurry of French fries Man the peas and spoons Fire at will you loons This place erupts in a blaze Of mealy fish sticks and donut glaze Green bean artillery and cheesy claymores This isn’t lunch time, this is war Flinging muffins and mustard packs I’m off my meds, I’m on the attack Mixed veggie green berets, a white bread navy They’ve got the ladles, we’ve got the gravy Man the peas and spoons Fire at will you loons Funny farm food fight!

This place is like a greased up Sisyphean hill from Hell I’ve been restrained and diagnosed, drugged heavily and billed Now thrown in solitary Caged like a canary All for throwing some food at the fucking staff The walls are pock marked with day counts clustered into fives There’s no windows, it smells like farts, the floor is wet with slime The toilet is a bucket Von Terror can fuckin’ suck it How the shit did that cunt get an MD? This treatment is experimental My findings will be monumental I’ll be awarded the Kurt-Koffka Conquistaré la madulla oblongata Oh, You motherfucker You’re a helplessly psychopathic Nazi No, This is some dark shit If I wasn’t sick in the head before I will be now When the oceans bubble up to swallow all the coasts When the earth is overheated, homo sapien weenie roast I’ll still be in this clinic Counting down the minutes Waiting for the grim reaper and his scythe When the breadbaskets fail and cannibalism is the norm When the petrodollar implodes and the economy is no more I’ll be found in here, bloodied, eating raw slices of my ass Buttocks tartare, brain deep fried My methods are a little zany I’ve been at this since the 80s I’ll be worshipped in the halls of science Gotta crush some coal if you wanna diamond Oh, You motherfucker You’re a helplessly psychopathic Nazi No, This is some dark shit If I wasn’t sick in the head before I will be now I’m going to test this new treatment on you, Panic Surfer But I’ ll have to keep you in here for the rest of your life And when the last human breathes it’s last breath And the roaches and dolphins fight over dominance And the last pillars of civilization fall I’ll still be here, carving the days into the wall These drugs This science Should be banished into the dark Of history And forgotten Like the first four Pantera albums In the blur of time, I can’t count the days Any longer It drags on and on Punctuated only by a pock marked orderly Jabbing me with syringes Oh, You motherfucker You’re a helplessly psychopathic Nazi No, This is some dark shit If I wasn’t sick in the head before I will be Now You fucking people Should be shot right in the nuts and left in This hole To bleed out in blackness I can’t emphasize this enough: Fuck you

Wading knee deep in the city’s sewage in nothing but a hospital gown, bare assed and freezing Somehow cold shit is even less appealing than a freshly pinched off turd in the bowl When off in the distance, in the putrid darkness, I hear a sound that makes me halt in my tracks Horrid, eldritch squeaks like razor blades cutting right through my quivering brain They’re here 5 to 1 I fight Wererats to the left and the front and the right Plastic spork in hand Great for gouging out eyes These mutants won’t stop me They’re all gonna die Wererats What bunch of wicked freakish things Like big furry demons, yellowed teeth, eyes of red Unlucky for them I’m off all my meds They don’t stop coming, the rumors are true, they breed like rats and fight like bikers On meth Animal control should have done something by now It’s up to me to put these freaks down One were-rat writhes in a pool of his guts Another twitches after being brained by my spork A third, fourth and fifth gurgle and choke on their blood I’m knee deep in human shit and rat gore 1 to 10 they die Pieces of tail and chipped teeth set to fly Plastic spork in hand I’m out of my mind These rodents are proof There’s no God in the sky I parry the 6th, kick him in the balls I drop kick the 7th square in the jaw The 8th takes the spork right up his ass The 9th dies from a random heart attack C’mon, you miserable man rodents I’ve got places to be I escaped Von Terror’s tortures But you won’t escape me Wererats What bunch of wicked freakish things Like big furry demons, yellowed teeth, eyes of red No mercy for them Off with their heads Wererats A horde of B-horror movie rejects Like big Stephen Millers, no soul and dead eyed And for a finale Flying fur, flesh and guts Hacking and stabbing The bodies piled up to rot The 10th one is spork fucked to death

Another day, another mental hospital to escape Covered in blood and sewage, I’ve been awake for days I take off running as alarms blast Nurses lunge as I run past Down another dim hall, this place is a damn maze Fluorescent lights flicker between distant screams Why the fuck would this happen to me? I know That this would just be my luck To emerge out into Another insane asylum straight from Hell You can’t make this shit up I barreled through a door right into an orderly So I bit his fucking nose off, and stole his master key Flanked by some nurses armed with shots of booty juice I zigzag like a maniac, and barrel roll into a room I block the door with tables and chairs So those nurses can’t get in here And you wouldn’t believe where I wound up It’s too good to be true A panel over head read “Master Controls” There was a big red button, and a little keyhole I know That this would just be my luck To have an opportunity to Ruin the day for all these wretched cunts They can toss my salad I plunge the key into the hole, the staff bangs at the door I push the big red button, there’s a rumble through the floor All The Patient Doors Fling open A horde of psychos Just like me Maul the staff And faculty And I Run And I’m as free as OJ now

That fucker left holes in my brain I wasn’t insane before I was just a normal bastard With some minor neurosis But now if I can’t kill Von Terror I will prey on the dumb and weak and naive Of the world And that doctor can’t stop me Because I made it out And now I ain’t quite right I’m gonna murder the world And go hunting at night I’ll smash babies with rocks And turn your wife into meat I’ll set fire to pre schools And jay walk in the streets Those meds disintegrated my scruples I’m a naked freak covered in blood Now I wonder the streets and Hear sirens in the distance But no dumbfuck pig can catch me I’ve been filled with so many experimental drugs I’ve grown into a modern Mr. Hyde And I’m out I can’t find my way home I’m twitchy and slimy and All I know is that I must kill The sirens close in around me Assholes with their phones surround me I hone in on a boomer in kakis And smash his face into the concrete And laugh As his dumpy wife screams for mercy But I don’t oblige She gets cunt punted back into the 60s Two bald, sweaty pigs try to take my flank They slip on boomer blood And I make it out And slip into the dark The sirens keep on wailing I hear police dogs bark And just like that I’m free to murder and to maim On an unsuspecting world Everyone is fair game When you hear the footsteps behind you in the dark And you turn and see a not-unattractive man in a medical gown Covered in rat blood and nurse guts Remember the name Von Terror That fucker made me