1. |
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Boom!
Die you motherfuckers
Choke on this dick
There’s a crowd of pasty Nazis
At a festival down below
The shrieking sounds of inbred incels
Sloppy blast beats and cringey-ass clothes
It’s a sea of drooling fuckwits
Tossing drunken roman salutes
Nokturne’s on stage, they sound like ass
I’ve got a final solution for you
These slack jawed dorks look up at the sky
When they see your friend Panic, they fucking die
That’s right
Black metal
White phosphorus
I’ll melt your fucking skin right off
Bad for you
Good for us
Vikernes is a bitch-ass nerd
Black metal
White phosphorus
I’m cleaning up the metal scene
Bad for you
Good for us
Sieg heil
These fuckin’ nuts
Like popping a zit on my ass
No one will care
The explosion sends a shockwave
Right into the fucking stage
Absurd, Goatmoon, Infernum go down
In a red hot ball of phosphorescent flame
The Resistance Records kiosk
Gets blown into fucking bits
And the dumbfuck crowd gets melted down
Into a fleshy circle pit
Swastika and black sun tattoos
Get seared off
Free at last, haha
NSBM is an albatross around the neck of the metal scene
I’ll eradicate the master race
And sell their B.C Rich guitars on eBay
The screams of terror are music to my ears
Here’s the race war you’ve wanted for years
Lets go
Black metal
White phosphorous
I guess this makes me a race traitor, huh?
Bad for you
Good for us
The entire genre actually kinda sucks
Black metal
White phosphorous
Immortal has some good shit I guess
Here’s a new
Holocaust
Eat gas
You fucking cunts
We’ll
Be better off without you
We’ll forget all about you
I guess your mommy never loved you
And I don’t blame her
I’ll
Tap-dance on your burning bodies
Pagan Nazi salami
Getting owned by this pinko commie
Is my kind of justice
Fuck you
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2. |
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Your uterus belongs to me
And I need it to make babies
My rich buddies demand fresh meat (maybe chicken thing?)
So get cracking all you ladies
So we can keep this whole thing going
We’ve got factories to fill from end to end
You’d better get to it
Barefoot and pregnant
And carry that fucker to term
We need blood for the economy
Another generation of wage slaves
The demon God Moloch is hungry
And needs some new flesh to chew on
So breed more for Him
And the second you give birth, you’ll be hit
With a 20 thousand dollar bill, deal with it
No healthcare, no pre-k
Fucked housing
Fucked everything
But at least you can still vote blue
Haha, that’s cute
It doesn’t matter
Because we own them too (money money)
Controlled opposition
Made fools out of all of you
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3. |
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The London Interbank Offered Rate
Is based on borrowing cost estimates
Of a whole fuckload of Global banks
Sent in at 11am everyday
The average is used as a base rate
To which hundreds of trillions of dollars are linked
Including mortgages in the United States
And essentially the global economy
Beginning in 2003
A bunch of these banks colluded behind the scenes
Barclays, Deutche Bank, JP Morgan Chase
Lied about the rates that they thought they’d pay
To skim money off of, well, everything
It was the biggest fucking scam in world history
And yet it was memory holed
State regulators allowed this shit to happen
So don’t feel bad if you cheat on your taxes explanation
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4. |
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My dumbfuck governor is at it again
Pushing to harass transgender kids
By considering treatments available to them
Child abuse under Texas state law
Doctors, nurses and teachers are now
Deputized, required and legally bound
To narc on parents seeking medical help
For their transgender child anywhere in the state
This fuckery flies right in the face
Of established medical science
Just to toss red meat
To his dumbass base
These treatments for transgender kids
Can be lifesaving, safe and effective
It’s largely just a social transition
Not some kind of invasive operation
But these creeps in the capitol
Would have you believe
Kids are being mutilated
So say it with me
Scream it with me
Greg Abbott and Dan Patrick
Are obsessed with little kids genitals
Greg Abbott and Dan Patrick
Are obsessed with little kids genitals
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5. |
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It’s an election year, and I can tell cause
Florida Man Ron DeSantis signed a dumbass bill
Barring teachers from teaching their students
That gay and trans people
Um
Exist
The law bars classroom discussion on basically anything
Deemed “too gay”
And pearl-clutching parents can sue schools
And the districts have to pay
The intention here is to have a chilling effect
They want to scare teachers into compliance
And the insinuation is that LGBTQ people
Are child predators
Projection much?
They can eat my whole dick
This is brought to you by the same damn party that “alleged” sex trafficker Matt Gaetz belongs to
And child molester Dennis Hastert
Google his name
If you missed that story
The GOP loves to
Fuck kids
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6. |
Apples and Peanut Butter
01:00
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I’m having a really good day
I did some yoga, and made some tea
Birds are singing and the sun is out
Played with my dog and booped her snout
But I’m incapable of writing a song
That isn’t angry and loud as fuck
So you’ll have to take my word for it
That I’m actually in a pretty good mood
Went for a walk and took a short nap
Took a hot shower and ate a small snack
It was apples
And peanut butter
Fuck yeah
I don’t have work tomorrow
So I can stay up late
Play some fortnite with the boys
The CIA killed JFK
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7. |
Murder Your Testicles
01:02
|
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One night I watched the movie Children of Men
It’s about a utopian world where women are all barren
The youngest person in the human race is an 18-year old doucehbag
That sounded great to me
I looked down at my nuts with a plan
I’ll microwave my boys all day
And run nude by power plants
I’ve heard that weed can kill your seed
So I’ll put some in my pants
But some scientists who work in reproductive health
Have warned industrial chemicals are making us sterile
Sperm counts are tanking thanks in part to phthalates and BPAs
There in a ton of products that we all use every day
Isn’t this grand? Imagine a world
Without screaming babies
We can all raise dogs and cats instead
Put those chemicals inside me!
Ugh!
Your dreams won’t have to die
If your nuts are deep fried
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8. |
Goosifer
02:28
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It’s a beautiful evening for a lazy stroll
A little fresh air is always good for the soul
There’s turtles, and ducks, and lovely little creatures
HOLY SHIT! What is that?
It’s got teeth on it’s tongue!
What kind of sick God would create such a beast?
It’s got beady black eyes and creepy orange feet
It’s like an H.P. Lovecraft version of a duck
And instead of cute quacks, it unleashes horrid honks
They march forth like the hordes of Ghengis Kahn
With the confidence of that jock from your high school
Who grew up to make more money than you
These winged eldritch featured mistakes
Serve as a reminder of our beaconing graves
No honor, no meaning, no purpose, no joy
Only geese and ganders here to search and annoy
Here to damn your fate
It’s Goosifer
To remind you that love is a lie
It’s Goosifer
Nobody hears your prayers
But Goosifer
And the fact is
Goosifer don’t give a shit
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9. |
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My stomach kinda hurts. Let’s see what WebMD thinks about this.
Oh, it’s probably just
Cancer
Stage 4 and inoperable
Or an aortic aneurysm
Or an ectopic pregnancy
Or space COVID
One thing is for sure
It’s the first sign of something sinister and deadly
You’re digesting your own stomach
And no matter what you do
You’re fucked
You’re already dead
It’s probably a new kind of Ebola
Or you’re full of garden gnomes with gout and chlamydia
Having a Satanic orgy in your guts
Get right with God right now, you chump
You’ll be dead within the hour
Or I dunno, maybe you just ate something weird.
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10. |
All of Us Are Fucked
01:01
|
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To meet the Paris climate accord in time
Emissions needed to decline by 7.6%
A year, between 2020 and 2030
And guess how much emissions dropped last year
During the plague?
7% in total!
And emission are exploding in 2021
And so is coal use
Ditto natural gas and oil
With no sign of slowing down at all
Countries in east Asia plan to build
Over 600 coal power plants over the next 10 years
And the US green-lit a multibillion dollar plan
To drill for oil on the Alaskan coastline
So listen to that voice down in your guts
That tells you all of us are fucked
All these psychopathic lobbyists
Can lick my sweaty ass, balls and taint
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11. |
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On Wednesday May 19th
Greg abbot signed a bill
Banning abortion after 6 weeks
Which is really fucking dumb
It’s in the class of legislation known as
Fetal heartbeat bills
But at 6 weeks, it’s an embryo
Without any organs
It has
No exemptions in cases of rape or incest
Or any additional funding
To help
Women financially deal with a new baby
Which is fuckin’ typical for these rednecks
The bill is broadly written
Anybody anywhere can sue anybody
Tied to abortion providers at all
This is only about control and domination
Cause little Greggy Abbott is simply
Terrified of vaginas
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Panic Surfer Dallas, Texas
Panic Surfer is a one man project from Texas, formed during the 2020 lockdown to prevent the sole member from slipping into
total madness.
Originally Panic Surfer was a project focused on satirical YouTube and Tik Tok videos, but later expanded into more ambitious territory.
Incorporating elements of death, thrash, groove metal, and horror punk, Panic Surfer promises to punish.
... more
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