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Texans Descending on Denver Like a Plague of Locusts

from Panic Attack Vol. 3: Datura Burrito by Panic Surfer

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lyrics

Rolling up in my F-350 diesel truck
Yes, it has truck nuts
I’m going on a shopping spree at REI and Patagonia
My bald ass tires might get stuck in 3 inches of snow
But it’s no big deal because I work from home
In my luxury apartment
$2,800 a month, it’s nothing
So

I’ll spend my weekends at Casa Bonita
And buy chapstick in bulk from Costco
I’ve been here 6 months, I’m officially a native
Us Texans will descend on Denver
Like a plague of locusts

Goddamnit, I got canned from my bullshit job in IT, fuck me
But I’ve got a backup plan that respects the culture of this city
I’ll smoke meth and steal catalytic converters from your precious Subies
Then spend $1200
Registering my F-350
It’s my new home, so sue me
And

I’ll spend my weekends at Denver Biscuit Company
And take selfies with my dog going hiking
I’ve been here a year, now I’m an elder native
Those Texans will descend on Denver
Like a plague of locusts

It just occurred to me…

This land is stolen
We’re all the offspring of genocide
America is a shit sucking hellscape
An open air sewer of assholes
From sea to oily sea

You can hate on Californians, Floridians, and New Yorkers also
You can dunk on red states, blue states, and all the fence sitting purples
But the fact remains, they’re all filled with the same kind of assholes
So when one moves from one state to another
Just imagine turds
In a toilet
Swirling around and around

I’ll spend my weekends bankrupting cancer patients
And twiddling my thumbs after every school shooting
I’ve been here for centuries, I smallpox’d all the natives
The Americans are descending on themselves
Like a plague of Texans

credits

from Panic Attack Vol. 3: Datura Burrito, released June 4, 2023

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Panic Surfer Dallas, Texas

Panic Surfer is a one man project from Texas, formed during the 2020 lockdown to prevent the sole member from slipping into total madness.

Originally Panic Surfer was a project focused on satirical YouTube and Tik Tok videos, but later expanded into more ambitious territory.

Incorporating elements of death, thrash, groove metal, and horror punk, Panic Surfer promises to punish. ... more

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