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lyrics

I always imagined the apocalypse to be
A big dramatic ending like in my favorite movies
Like an alien invasion, grays probing all our butts
Or a highly lethal virus with no Hoffman to save us

But instead we get increasingly worse heatwaves from Shanghai to London
Motherfuck it, I’ll take what I can get, it will get the damn job done

Because
The entire fucking earth
Will be totally deep fried
We’ll all be broiled alive
And our children will all die
HEY
The oceans will be
Thoroughly acidified
There will be nothing left alive
Our bones all bleached and petrified
YAS!

So rather than sacrificing virgin goats to Lucifer
I’ll eat a bunch of beef and drive a big fuckoff Hummer
I’ll send love letters to Dick Cheney and Joe Manchin
To thank them for their contribution to this shitty planets end

It will be a thrill to witness all life recede into the void
Kind of like my hairline or auto workers in Detroit

Rejoice!
The entire fucking earth
Will be totally deep fried
We’ll all be broiled alive
And our children will all die
HEY
The oceans will be
Thoroughly acidified
There will be nothing left alive
Our bones all bleached and petrified
YAS

Mwahahahahaha

The skies
The seas
The tundra
And the trees
The north
The south
Every city
Every town
Hail BP
Praise Chevron
Halliburton
And Exxon
The sun
The closest star
Will turn Earth
Into Mars

It’s unstoppable now, unless a few choice people take a slug through the fuckin’ dome
And a pipeline or two get blown to bits, but who among you has the stones?

Nobody!
The entire fucking earth
Will be totally deep fried
We’ll all be broiled alive
And our children will all die
HEY
The oceans will be
Thoroughly acidified
There will be nothing left alive
Our bones all bleached and petrified

Yikes!

It’s way too late
To turn this sinking ship around
So bottoms up as we go down
No optimism is allowed
HEY
Environmentalists
Can ask pretty please
They can get down on their knees
It won’t change a goodamn thing

So I guess we’re fucked
And that’s just fine with me

credits

from Panic Attack Vol. 2: A List of People I Think Should Kill Themselves, released November 9, 2022

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Panic Surfer Dallas, Texas

Panic Surfer is a one man project from Texas, formed during the 2020 lockdown to prevent the sole member from slipping into total madness.

Originally Panic Surfer was a project focused on satirical YouTube and Tik Tok videos, but later expanded into more ambitious territory.

Incorporating elements of death, thrash, groove metal, and horror punk, Panic Surfer promises to punish. ... more

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